Anywho, I digress …

Loosely based on what might have happened. Or not.

Archive for September, 2009

Why am I here?

Posted by episode81 on September 29, 2009

There's no place like home. There's no place like home ...

Once people are done with telling me about their vacations in the UK and how cute my accent is, the inevitable next question is:

“Why did you move here?”.

My automatic answer is:

“Money, the weather and opportunity”.

Sometimes I vary the order depending on the preceding conversation, but in reality, there is no order.  All three are of equal value.

Personally, I think the actual act of moving to the USA is the more interesting question.  Six weeks after a trip to the US from the UK for interviews, the house was sold, I had a green card, the four cats were crated and in the hold of the plane and we were on the way.  I am very decisive.  And it was 1996, so things were much easier then.

Anywho, I digress …

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Posted in Thought, UK, USA | 3 Comments »

Blowing Bubbles

Posted by episode81 on September 22, 2009

Don't look away - when it bursts, you'll miss it!

Don't look away - when it bursts, you'll miss it!

Last week, I had a disappointment and an exciting moment.  I visited the de Young in San Francisco to see the King Tut Exhibit. I had lunch in the cafe.

Lunch was awesome.  The food was good and the service friendly.  We sat outside in the plastic tent.  It had rained heavily the night before, and it was threatening again, but it was warm and there was a good view of the sculpture garden.

Then I noticed the roof.  There were huge puddles of water on the roof.  As the roof was plastic, the puddles dangled overhead looking fit to burst at any moment!  While I sat there eating my lunch I fantasized about constructing a large poking stick to pierce the largest bubble, so that I could pop it without getting soaked.  It reminded me of the Friends episode about the Ugly Naked Guy and the giant poking device.  That was a great episode – check out the script.  One of the best 🙂

Joey: All right now remember, something this big and long is going to
      be difficult to maneuver, fortunately I have a lot of experience 
      in that area.

Ross: Can we please focus here, a naked man’s life hangs in the
      balance!

Phoebe: I’m telling you he’s dead. What we are about to have here
        is a dead fat guy on a stick.

Joey: All right, ladies and gentlemen, let’s poke. (they start to
      advance the giant poking device) Steady. Steady. Okay, a little
      higher. Careful of the angle. Okay, okay, we’re approaching the
      window (as he says this the camera cuts to their view of Ugly 
      Naked Guy, so that we actually see him!) Thread the needle. 
      Thread the needle. 

(They thread the needle and start poking him, he then stirs.)

Phoebe: He’s alive! He’s a-live!!!

Monica: And yet, we’re still poking him.

Joey: Okay, retract the device, retract the device.

Ross: He does not look happy.

Rachel: Hey-hey, now he’s showing us his poking device.

Joey: Hey, that’s never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy!

Anywho, I digress …

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Posted in Thought | 1 Comment »

Accidental Haiku

Posted by episode81 on September 17, 2009

Are Haikus Poetry?

Is Haiku Poetry?

Like many teenagers, I wrote bad poetry.  I came across my old poetry book the other day.  What was I thinking?  It was all doom and gloom – dead people, uncontrollable emotions and pop song cliches.  Good grief, I was a miserable teenager.  Be very grateful that there was no internet back then. Self published prose.  Yikes!

Anywho, I digress …

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Posted in Thought, Wordy Knickers | 1 Comment »

Another obsession of mine

Posted by episode81 on September 13, 2009

Note the hidden fingernails

Note the hidden fingernails

I stopped biting my nails in January 2008, after biting them for as long as I can remember.  Why did I give up?  How did I give up?  I don’t know.  I just did, and now I love, love, love my fab fingernails 🙂

Diana, Princess of Wales gave up biting her nails when she got engaged – try and find a picture of her showing off her new sparkler without her fist clenched.  Let me save you some time – you won’t.  By the time she got married, her fingernails were fab, but she still hid them.  Nail biting is habit forming.

Anywho, I digress …

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Posted in Thought, TV | Leave a Comment »

Being British

Posted by episode81 on September 11, 2009

Maurice on the London Eye

Maurice on the London Eye

I get asked about my accent all the time.  When people discover that I am British and not Australian, Irish or  Russian (yes, really), I then get a potted history of their trips to the UK and questions about their next trip.

Everyone has the same questions that largely revolve around places to visit in London.  I try to be polite, but inside, I am screaming “Buy a guidebook!”.  Sheesh – I haven’t lived there since 1996!  The world has moved on since I was there – new phrases have popped up that I have to ask my UK-based friends to translate. That’s pants, that is and fair play to name but two.

Anywho, I digress …

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Posted in Maurice, Thought, UK | 2 Comments »