Posted by episode81 on January 24, 2011
I have a bicycle. I got it years ago, paid for with an unexpected bonus. I always thought it was a pretty good bike. Silver, with reflective bits and decent lights. I don’t have a bell, I have a squeezable tortoise. After showing it to someone who knows bikes, I realize that my bike is not great and thus, my bonus was too small. On the plus side, my lights are fabulous!
Anywho, I digress …
I dusted off the bike and went out for a ride. In the years I have had it, I have never gone for more than a mile on it.
I set out on an 11 mile loop and swiftly realized that the worst part of my bike is the saddle. For some unknown reason, I have a man-saddle and not a lady-saddle. The man-saddle is hard and remarkably uncomfortable. After the first mile I was twisting and shuffling to try to find a comfy position. There wasn’t one. Resigned to the pain in my arse, I tried to busy myself with positive thoughts. Sadly, distracting my bum is not that easy.
I was heading towards a bike bridge over 101. The view from the bridge was spectacular! It was about that time that I noticed a bike bridge to my left and realized that I was, in fact, on the wrong bridge. I was actually on the 101 on-ramp heading north. Not good. Alarming and embarrassing at the same time.
I finally got to the Palo Alto Baylands to cycle along the levee. The surface is not finished. It is gravel and dried, very lumpy, mud. This causes painful vibrations that failed to make my man-saddle more comfortable.
On the way home, all I could think about was getting off that bike and hurling the saddle into the dustbin. By this time everything was hurting – my back, my shoulders, my wrists. Even cycling over slight indentations in the road caused me to utter bad words.
I need a new saddle, plus those fugly cycling shorts with the built-in gel cushion, plus some gloves with gel inserts. Of course, dressed like that, I will only be able to cycle in the dark. Which is good as, according to the bike expert, I already have great lights.