Lisa does not have a big mouth – official
Posted by episode81 on May 12, 2010
I have been searching for a new dentist. My old dentist, well, I wasn’t happy. Nuff said.
I found my new dentist on Yelp. Why? I couldn’t find anyone who would recommend their dentist! I was hoping that the comments on Yelp were genuine – much of what I have seen about local restaurants is too extreme to be useful.
“The meat was off and I ended up in hospital” Vs “The waiter kissed my shoes and gave me free champagne”
The truth is somewhere in the middle.
Anywho, I digress …
One of the main things I hate about the dentist is the constant request to open my mouth wide. I am sitting there with tears rolling down my cheeks as I gape as wide as I can to accommodate all the drills, sucking devices and fingers that apparently need to be in there. The first thing my new dentist did was ask if I could open wider:
New Dentist: “Open wide”
ND: “Mmmmm. Wider”
ND: <Whips out some measuring calipers>
Me: <Tears threatening to overflow>
<Yes, I am a wimp>
ND: “Has anyone ever told you that you have a small gape?” <Starts massaging my jaw>
Me: <Closes mouth> “No”
ND: “Your gape is 34.3mm. The average is 42mm” <Still massaging jaw and temples>
Me: “I have a small mouth? That’s a first!”
And so I do. My fabulous new dentist told me to let all future dentists and doctors know so that they don’t overstretch my jaw. Perhaps I should get a flip top head?
He also warned against eating huge sandwiches. I am not a fan of huge sandwiches, now I know why. This was never an issue in the UK where the depth of a sandwich rarely stretches past an inch. In the US, 3 inches is considered thin.
And let me spend a moment on that jaw massage. O. M. F. G. It was heaven. Next time I get a massage, it is going to be all jaw and temples 😀
So when someone calls me a big mouth (and they do), I will whip out a ruler and challenge them to a measure-off 😉 I expect to win!