Anywho, I digress …

Open wide!

I have been searching for a new dentist.  My old dentist, well, I wasn’t happy.  Nuff said.

I found my new dentist on Yelp.  Why?  I couldn’t find anyone who would recommend their dentist!  I was hoping that the comments on Yelp were genuine – much of what I have seen about local restaurants is too extreme to be useful.

“The meat was off and I ended up in hospital”  Vs  “The waiter kissed my shoes and gave me free champagne”

The truth is somewhere in the middle.

Anywho, I digress …

One of the main things I hate about the dentist is the constant request to open my mouth wide.  I am sitting there with tears rolling down my cheeks as I gape as wide as I can to accommodate all the drills, sucking devices and fingers that apparently need to be in there.  The first thing my new dentist did was ask if I could open wider:

New Dentist: “Open wide”

Me: “Arghhh”

ND: “Mmmmm. Wider”

Me:  “ARGHHH”

ND: <Whips out some measuring calipers>

Me: <Tears threatening to overflow>

<Yes, I am a wimp>

ND: “Has anyone ever told you that you have a small gape?” <Starts massaging my jaw>

Me: <Closes mouth> “No”

ND: “Your gape is 34.3mm. The average is 42mm”  <Still massaging jaw and temples>

Me: “I have a small mouth?  That’s a first!”

And so I do. My fabulous new dentist told me to let all future dentists and doctors know so that they don’t overstretch my jaw. Perhaps I should get a flip top head?

He also warned against eating huge sandwiches.  I am not a fan of huge sandwiches, now I know why.  This was never an issue in the UK where the depth of a sandwich rarely stretches past an inch.  In the US, 3 inches is considered thin.

And let me spend a moment on that jaw massage.  O. M. F. G. It was heaven.  Next time I get a massage, it is going to be all jaw and temples 😀

So when someone calls me a big mouth (and they do), I will whip out a ruler and challenge them to a measure-off  😉  I expect to win!

Lisa.