Anywho, I digress …

Loosely based on what might have happened. Or not.


Posted by episode81 on August 4, 2010

Rather odd

I was visiting with my knitting buddy a few weeks ago. We were sorting through her yarn stash to find something suitable for my Knitting Brioche project.

She has an astonishing amount of yarn in her stash from her time at a local yarn store back in the 80’s.  Really.  The colors have been in and out of fashion several times.  Lucky for me, they are currently in.  I left there with 2 bin bags full to the top.  All worsted weight.  Lots of great colors.  Woot!

Anywho, I digress …

While we were rummaging in the yarn stash, we came across a most unusual, and frankly disturbing, knitting pattern.  My knitting buddy clipped it from the Dec 91/Jan 92 issue of Threads magazine.

Look carefully at the happy family.


  • There is pie.
  • Family from the neck down:
    • Nicely dressed with the possible exception of the pinny.


  • Small boy has his finger in the pie.
  • Family from the neck up:
    • Daughter (?) apparently has a very unfortunate hobby.
    • Mum is a mouth breather.
    • Son is a one-eyed evil-doer with a pie fetish.
    • Dad looks terrified.

I won’t be knitting these.  And neither should you.


UPDATE: Victoria over at Threads used this image in a recent Spot the Difference column.  Thanks for the comment! For some reason, links in comments won’t display …

32 Responses to “Knitmare”

  1. candybeans said

    thank you, so very much, for sharing this with the world. there are no words for how delightful and terrifying it is.

  2. soopsworld said

    That’s terrifying and hilarious at the same time = quite the rare achievement, I commend you.

  3. wilson said

    i need to knit one of these but i have no hands to knit with


  4. We are all laughing over here at the Threads offices that you also dug this out of our archives. We revisited this one not too long ago in our Spot the Difference Game. You should check it out and see if you find the changes we made to the original.

  5. Katie said

    Also, the father’s bow tie!

  6. elizamason said

    This. Is. Fantastic.

  7. bantics said

    oh my this is rather disturbing isn’t it? hilarious thta somebody thought it would be a good idea to publish it at the time. i like your blog, maybe take a wee look at mine

  8. I cannot believe this picture – it is down right creepy…Are you sure it was from a knitting magazine and not some b movie?

  9. Plus, the directions? Makes it worse…unravel a mouth? Double Decrease the nose? Sounds like something you would find in a cook book by Hannibal Lecter

  10. Thank you so much for that great laugh today! I needed it!!!!

  11. Peggy West said

    My sister send me the link to this post, with the admonishment that I am NEVER to knit any of these. No fear there. This is some seriously creepy stuff.

  12. The image was quite amusing. Actually, i like this headgear very much. I’m always cold–even though i live in a moderate climate–and would not mind at all wearing any one of these four hats (heads?) to stay warm in winter. It’s true: a passerby might call the police or the FBI and warn them of having spotted a terrorist. But that’s a small risk to take if you can stay this warm!

    I’m not at all a knitter but you’re still most welcome to visit my new blog here:

  13. Mary said


    Your not. Are you.

    Somebody hold me, I’m scared.

  14. […] Over at Submitterator, TinChicken shares this family photo from the December 91/Jan 92 issue of Threads, a magazine “for people who love to sew.” Ah, where to begin… Knitmare […]

  15. Xenani said

    Oh, that is just silly.

    I’d love to meet the person who came up with this idea! No, really. I’m sure they’d be a fascinating individual to observe.

  16. Jennie said

    The thing I can’t believe is the designer – none other than Meg Swansen! What was she thinking?!

  17. Jude Mcneela said

    With patterns of this quality in your possession, you really do have your fingers in all the pies – figuratively speaking. Well done.

  18. Chris Holmes said

    Quite possibly the very first Slipknot Family Christmas photo…

  19. Calvin said

    This family makes some jihadist’s look tame by comparison! Many thanks…now if you’ll excuse me…I have some nightmares to confront.

  20. Zombo said

    That literally scared a whole ball of yarn out of my ass. Awesome find.

  21. […] Knitmare I was visiting with my knitting buddy a few weeks ago. We were sorting through her yarn stash to find something […] […]

  22. […] Please continue reading HERE. […]

  23. […] FUEL OF THE WEEK: Okay, knitmare fuel. […]

  24. motherwho said

    Goodness.. this is hideous! I had to scroll down the page. I felt like they were staring at me. Ew.

  25. rosa said

    I think people would look at these in a different way if they knew Meg Swansen’s masks were most probably inspired by the amazing traditional knitted masks from Bolivia and Peru (here‘s an example). But I agree that without the historical context to support it, this cover IS spooky!

  26. […] another members work.  As the originator, I offer the designer nothing but my respect.  Rosa commented that perhaps the designer took inspiration from knitted masks from Bolivia and Peru.  I would say […]

  27. […] August 9, 2010 in cool stuff Yikes […]

  28. […] […]

  29. […] […]

  30. Susan said

    This project has found new life over at !

  31. […] while back, someone posted a comment on my most popular post, Knitmare.  It wasn’t a spam-bot, it was a Nasty Someone.  As it was a threat, it bothered me.  I […]

  32. […] I wrote Knitmare, I thought it would be popular   It got Boinged and my site traffic has never been the […]

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